for my daughters

Oh my daughters, so much I wish I could say to the both of you. So much about life and love and the universe that you have to discover yourself, that words fall far short of describing. That we are made of stars, that we are the cosmos recognizing itself. That this completely crazy thing we call life is full of wonder. It's also full of darkness, full of mystery, full of pain, full of love. All of these things are part of the wonder.

I love both of you so much.

I can remember holding each of you right after you were born. The total love I would never believe it was possible to feel. I talked to both of you in the womb, I danced with you both in the stars. I felt so honored to be chosen as your father. So much I wanted to show you in this world...so little I can explain. You have both enriched my world beyond measure.

I make mistakes as a father. I am very human. I have always hoped that being human will show you it is ok to make mistakes--it is, in fact, very necessary to make mistakes. It's ok to feel like shit because sometimes that is how the world is. It doesn't mean the beauty, the wonder is gone. Perhaps we would not appreciate it as much if we didn't struggle. We would certainly not grow if we didn't fail on occasion.

This has gotten pretty syrupy. I apologize. I don't want you to see the world through my eyes--I want you to see it through your own. I hope that you can savor the discovery, the wonder. That you find your passion and joy. That your sadness teaches you and sometimes overwhelms you but never drowns you. That you respect yourself and can be strong when you need to be strong and cry when you need to cry. My arms will always be here and be open, no matter how old and tired they will eventually get.

It's a quiet Saturday evening as I write this. For just a moment--a brief, brief moment--I am stopping the noise of the world and savoring all of the growth, love and joy you've brought to my life. You will never know how much harder I try because I want to be a worthy father. Especially if I'm snapping at you because I'm tired or feeding you an uninspired dinner or nagging you to get to swim practice. I don't always know best. No one does. There are no easy answers in this life.

But there is wonder. There is the cosmos. There are amazing things up there, and there are amazing things inside your heart. They are one and the same. I'm so fortunate to share this part of your life's journey with you.