boring writing stuff

In early January I mostly finished a story that is probably the best one I've ever written. (Admittedly, that's not saying much.) It still needs a bit of tweaking here and there but overall it is complete. Writing it was a rare case of having not only a story to tell but something I wanted to say. Having it all come together was a deeply satisfying experience. 

Since then, I haven't completed anything new. And yet...I am writing a lot. I rewrote a story that I initially wrote back in 2009; it was the first time I've ever gone back to something old and rewrote it. Usually I just plow ahead with something new, no matter how light on ideas or inspiration I am. But rewriting that story was also a rewarding experience--it had never left my mind, and to go back to it with skills that have hopefully grown some in that time felt good. At the least, I would hope I have a slightly different perspective that informed it. The subject matter was still difficult but I enjoyed the challenge. I wouldn't want to look back all the time but now I'm at least aware it can have benefits. 

Once that was finished, I began work on something new, something without a real definite shape or a known end goal. The only thing I know is that it will be in seven sections and I've currently got three completely written and two more partially completed. And it's already at some 10k words, so it's unwieldy for sure (by my standards, anyway.) Maybe it won't be, once I know what it is. Right now I sure don't.

At times, that worries me, coming on the heels of the two stories above where I knew exactly what I was after. But when I'm being honest, I know that's pretty rare. It's nice when you have that kind of inspiration but mostly writing is work, work and more work. Maybe this sprawling mess I'm doing now becomes something, or maybe it all gets abandoned. Or maybe chunks of it become something else entirely. You just never know unless you keep working. It's nice when inspiration lights the tunnel and you can see where you are going, but that is a rare thing. Most of the time you just feel about in the darkness. Sometimes your hand gets bit, sometimes it finds a switch. But if you just stand there and don't do anything, nothing will happen. So I just keep typing. And typing.