meditation

all the language around me
is either lecture or therapy-speak
the occasional stray hair of business-speak
there is no conversation
no communication
just stiff, locked words like soft bricks
they build a wall that sometimes flexes but never gives

not for the first time sitting at a stoplight
i had the thought that i should learn to meditate
followed by the thought that it might be ok
if i never heard a word uttered by the human voice again
or saw a word typed out on a screen again
it's a silly thought, a despairing thought, a frustrated thought
but during stoplight moments it feels like truth

i want to find where language is alive
but i don't know where to search
or perhaps that's an excuse
i often think so
and then i return to silence
so when words do come
they can carry the weight of heaven

but heaven is another form of death
and i'm back to dead language
to no conversation, no communication
as much as i love poetry
it has yet to change the world
and that's a horse
i'm not going to start betting on

meditation
is starting to look good.