In the last week of 2015, I decided to put some true
effort for the first time towards getting published. While I had (very)
occasionally submitted stories in the past, I’d not honestly put any effort
towards getting my work out there since I was a teenager in high school
regularly submitting to poetry magazines. It wasn’t because I had no interest
in being published. I have a limited amount of time and I’ve just always
preferred to direct that time towards creating rather than hunting for markets.
Before 2016, I’d typically take a piece through a couple of drafts and then
move on. I’ll also admit to being a bit wary—I was (and still am, I suppose)
concerned that I’d start writing for markets instead of self-expression. There’s
nothing wrong with writing specifically for markets but it’s more important for
me personally to get a certain expression out with my work.
Yet it was time to step up. So I decided 2016 would be
the year that I’d backburner new work and focus more on getting prior work into
submission shape. And then, at the end of January, a major non-positive event
happened in my personal life that is still ongoing, the ramifications of which
have negatively impacted my creative life. I never stop writing regardless of
circumstance, but writing under continuous stress/worry tends to have more of a
“survive this day by driving the darkness out through creativity” than “hey,
have a seat around the campfire, I’ve got a yarn I’d like to spin.” Basically—more
poetry, more prose and less focused storytelling. I wrote a lot of poetry this
year.
But you know what? I did not pull back from my original
plan. In addition to the poetry and new work, I worked my ass off on getting
things into submission shape and then I hunted for markets and submitted them.
I spent the first six weeks of the year reworking a story—my best, I thought—into
shape before submitting it. As of today it’s been submitted seven times and
while not accepted, it did get some positive feedback. I am absolutely fine
with this. I submitted a second story this fall and the place went under—I’m
searching for another market for it. I am currently going through a painfully
long revision process on another story that I think is perhaps the strongest I’ve
written, and as soon as that’s done, I’ll submit it too. Perhaps best of all,
one of the few new stories I wrote this year I worked into submission shape,
and there’s a market opening in late January I’m going to send it to. Who knows
if any of these will be published; probably they won’t. It’s worth it because
it’s making me a better writer.
I’ve noticed that doing deep revision has changed my
creative process with regards to new work. It’s slower, but more considered.
The aforementioned story that I’ll submit in January was often written a couple
of sentences or a paragraph at a time, and revised as I went, before undergoing
several further rounds of revision after completing a full draft. This is a new
way of working for me, and while I hope it doesn’t become the *only* way, I
value what it’s bringing to the table. It was uncomfortable to write—for subject
matter as well as process—and that, for this particular story, is a good thing.
Comfort is not always a good thing for a writer who is drawn to the darker
roads (but, I would hasten to add, neither is wallowing in exploitive excess.
As in all things, balance is key.)
The upshot of all this is that in sheer volume, I think I
actually wrote more this year than in any year of my life. It just doesn’t feel
like it. Of course, volume isn’t everything and most of those words ended up in
the dustbin. You keep working and trying to get better. I’m not writing at the
volume/consistency/ability I’d like, and there are many times I stare at the
screen and wonder what the hell I’m doing. Shouting in the void acknowledges
that the void is there, and sometimes that’s as good as it will get. I’m still
breathing and still working. I’m excited by a small portion of my work, not so
excited about the rest, and I’ll keep pushing forward.
For 2017 I’m going to continue to submit pieces. As long
as the process is making me a better writer, it’s worth it, regardless of
acceptance or lack thereof.
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